At 7:30 I shut my window because it was no longer raining and I didn't need the cold. Over the next half hour, this is what happened :
We were on the beach. Some sort of camping trip or cabin trip. It was me and a bunch of young people, and people our parents' age. It might have been a family reunion, but the water and climate were more like Mexico than Upstate New York.
The young people were doing something. Playing a game or just talking or maybe even getting ready to head inside - the sun was setting. And, well, I felt alone. Loneliness is not a feeling I feel some of the time. It's always there, no matter who I'm with or what's going on.
By now it was dark. I headed over to where the parents had been and sat on the dock and sobbed. I was alone, and because no one came to help it was clear they preferred me being somewhere else. That's how it is with me. I need you so much that not paying any attention to me at the wrong time will make me think you hate me.
One of the parents came over and told me something about crayfish and wisdom. She also had me check the fishing rod that was lying on the deck. Far down the fishing line, and in the water that was perfectly translucent and slightly orange, was a 20-foot fish.
We reeled it in, and I removed the hook from its mouth, and it started speaking. Just then my aunt shoved a chainsaw in its mouth, trying to cut the head off or something. It continued to try to speak, but I couldn't make anything out.
Just crawling out of the water between some rocks was a mudfish. I went over to see if it knew what was going on, but by then some Husaru had appeared. Husaru are little toads about the size of a quarter that are mostly black with some orange and a wee bit of yellow. If they exist outside my dream, they're probably poisonous, and probably can't open their mouth 180 degrees.
We were inundated by animals. Just as I went off in search of the mudfish, another critter would appear and we'd have to get rid of it. Time passed.
I was in the parents' cabin, in the vestibule where they kept their shoes. I must have falled asleep on the bench there. I headed outside and it was day again. I went to the dock, but there was no sign of the mudfish.
What was the "crayfish" trying to tell me? What was the mudfish up to? Why do I place my happiness in other people's hands without them even noticing?