Gregory Pettigrew (etherial) wrote,
Gregory Pettigrew

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Make Mistakes GET CHILDREN and Forever Alter the Flavor of your Life

LET'S FACE IT -- Children are either the products of "emotion" or they're just mistakes. THINK -- do YOU have a brother or a sister who seems unreasonably older than you are? Have you ever wondered if that guy who "raised" you is REALLY your "dad"? Do you even KNOW your parents? Or MAYBE you've just gotten those TEST RESULTS back and it WASN'T what you wanted to hear? Huh? WELL?
It's WEIRD, isn't it -- spending the first decade of your life in a sort of stupid bliss, not even realizing that you're TRULY HAPPY until that DAY when all of a sudden you're NOT and everything CHANGES and you start thinking about how other people LOOK AT YOU and you wonder if you're UGLY and you have to STOP doing things like making animal noises with your mouth or fart sounds with your forearms so you either "follow the crowd" and start lifting weights or putting on makeup or you just GIVE UP -- because about the LAST think you can possibly imagine HAPPENING to you is getting LAID.

Even though you think about it ALL THE TIME

Everywhere -- at school, eating breakfast, shopping with grandma -- you can't get it out of your mind -- does grandma think about it as much as I do? You KNOW that your parents haven't EVER had it -- Why does Dad work in the basement all the time? Mom didn't make dinner again. How did dad's hair get brown again all of a sudden? If I could JUST get LAID I'd be HAPPY.
Maybe you start reading a lot, or try drawing or something, even though it's not FUN like it used to be because all you can think about is that you're probably doing it WRONG or that it's BAD and someone's going to NOTICE, maybe someone you really don't want to notice, maybe someone you really want to have SEX with. Or maybe you get lucky and you get to have a CAR or some COOL CLOTHES or maybe you're just REALLY lucky and you're really BEAUTIFUL or HANDSOME so you get to find out what it's ALL ABOUT before everyone ELSE does. Maybe you even FALL in LOVE because you FINALLY got to HAVE SEX with someone but you haven't known that person long enough to start being IRRITATED by them or to RESENT them or be DISGUSTED by their physical appearance or their STUPID HABITS. Or maybe you start DRINKING or taking DRUGS so you can BEAR the sight of their NAKED FLESH and you can STILL take your PLEASURE without being filled with DESPAIR or a HOLLOW feeling of SOMETHING -- who knows what it is -- it just doesn't feel RIGHT and you want OUT -- RIGHT NOW --

Acme Seed Company
Dep't. 1800 Chicago, Illinois.
Our 26th year.

I love McSweeney's...

  • The Love of Things

    I love things. I love taking my things out of their boxes, holding them, fiddling with them, recalling previous times I'd played with them, worked…

  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    While I continue to be ticked off at J. K. Rowling for her complete mishandling of Magic in North America, my position on this particular film has…

  • On Third Parties

    I was a paid staffer for Phillies 2008, a Libertarian Party Presidential Campaign. By then, I was already identifying as a Small Government…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded