November 29th, 2001



How fitting that my last post was followed by four months of silence. That's what they've been, too.

Four months and you haven't returned my calls my letter my email my messages through our mutual friends.

Why do I still love you?
Why do I think you love me?

I practice piano when I find the time.
I swim a quarter mile three times a week.
I do my homework, I go to class.
And in the cold of the early morning I shiver with loneliness because you're not here to care about what a better person I'm trying to be for you.

I love you I hate you I love you.
I love you.
We just both hate me.
  • Current Music
    Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah


About that swimming thing. A quarter mile was a lie.
The pool is 60 feet long.
Yesterday I did 20 lengths=1200 feet.
A quarter mile is 1320 feet.

Of course, today I swam 100 lengths=6000 feet, so maybe that makes up for it.

If by some cruel twist of fate I can climb out of bed tomorrow, I think I'll swim 500.
  • Current Music
    Sweet Child O' Mine