December 2nd, 2002

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The saddest songs are played on the strings of my heart.

Sent out a number of necessary emails for Game. Hopefully the ball will start rolling again. I know that a large part of the game derailment is my part, but I just find it so unfulfilling to work on something where the only thing spurring me on is Leanne being frustrated by the fact that I haven't finished things that don't directly relate to her.

This Halloween thing should have ended a month ago.

If I'm lucky, this attitude will carry over into my schoolwork and I can start getting some real results.
  • Current Music
    Harbour - Moby
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Things

Sometimes I wonder if half the people I'm attracted to notice. Sometimes I wonder if half the people I'm attracted to wouldn't be so attractive if I weren't so lonely.

Why is it that when I meet a nice guy I can't connect? Why is it that everyone who wants me is so alien that I can't feel anything from them? Am I just built wrong? Am I not capable of feeling appreciated? of feeling content? of feeling loved? Or am I just too good at finding out that I haven't met Mr. Right yet. Or whatever.

Sometimes I wonder just why it hurts so much to not feel anything from other people when it's the same thing I've felt all my life.
  • Current Music
    I'm Not Worried At All - Moby