October 11th, 2010


National Coming Out Day

I'm bisexual. It's a somewhat loaded term, since "bisexual" implies there's only two ways to do this gender thing, and (in case you hadn't heard), it's more complicated than that. What matters is this: We all must love where the lightning strikes, and not where we would choose.

Some years, it's a little unclear why I still do this. Every year, I post a reminder that I'm bisexual. Why bother? Everyone here knows it, yes? My flist has been pretty stable - I'm not sure anybody's added me in that year. My life has changed, though. I got married in May to a kind, caring, wonderful person who happens to be female. In some ways, it's more important than ever for me to participate, since it's now even easier for me to be read as straight.

This year, though, it's painfully clear why I must still do this:

RIP Asher Brown, age 13
RIP Raymond Chase, age 19
RIP Tyler Clementi, age 18
RIP Billy Lucas, age 15
RIP Seth Walsh age 13

That's five suicides of teenaged boys, whose families support them, that made national news, in September. Think of how many parents you know that wouldn't support their gay son. Think of how many suicides don't make national news. Then at least double it for all the girls who are bullied. Think of all the bullying and all the deaths you haven't heard of.

That's why I do this. Because the only difference between them and me is pure chance.
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