Dear Reckless Jackass:
Thank you for trying to kill me earlier tonight. I really appreciated the way you swerved into my lane and slammed on your breaks. The officer who you were trying to hide from was going to pull us both over, but was so pissed at you that I was spared a $300 speeding ticket (that I didn't deserve). Next time, however, the driver behind you may not be paying as much attention as me, so you may want to lay off the lattes.
Sincerely,
The other guy the cop pulled over
